Domestic violence cases in Toronto often involve actual or perceived infidelity

Infidelity is an extremely common motivating factor in domestic violence cases. Unlike in some parts of the US, Canada has a no-fault divorce system which means that even if one spouse openly cheats on the other it will not reduce their share of the matrimonial property. This puts the spouse who is being cheated on in an extremely frustrating position. Such heated scenarios can eventually lead to violence, uttering threats of violence, and false allegations. Once the police get involved, domestic charges will be laid.

Marriage is considered a business in 2022. Like with any business partners, disputes often arise.

Since the cost of living in Toronto and the GTA is very high (expensive real estate and rent prices), breaking up and leaving the family home is not that simple. It is also extremely easy for partners to cheat on one another because of online dating. The result is that many couples find themselves feeling trapped in unhappy relationships. Over time, these relationships grow only more dysfunctional until a tipping point is reached and a domestic violence incident occurs. The tipping point could be something as simple as one partner noticing a newly locked cell phone, a quickly closed window on a computer, or a cell phone mysteriously placed upside down on a table.

The tipping point can also be much more obvious such as the discovery of text messages arranging meetings and/or sex, or that their partner is sending intimate photos to other people. Sometimes in addition to evidence of infidelity, the cheated on spouse also discovers disparaging remarks about them have been made to the other “lover”.

The COVID-19 pandemic has also had a negative impact on many relationships because many couples were not used to spending so much time together. Many people now work exclusively via Zoom and other means. Arguments may ensue as a result of not having as many breaks and time apart compared to before. Also the COVID pandemic may be the source of other stresses that can lead to fighting such as financial and work related uncertainty.

One person working relationships (lonely housemates)

In relationships where only one person works and the other is home alone and bored, opportunities to cheat are ripe. The working spouse being cheated on soon realizes that not only is their partner being unfaithful, if they divorce them they will be responsible for substantial spousal support (in addition to half the family assets) because they were the only one working during the marriage. This can be an incredibly frustrating reality for someone to confront.

Sometimes the partner is aware of the cheating but chooses not to acknowledge it. Like sweeping a mess under the bed, some people have a propensity to avoid what scares or bothers them. For someone who has worked extremely hard to support their family, infidelity is devastating. When combined with other realities in Ontario such as no fault divorce laws, the overwhelming pressure increases the likelihood of an eventual domestic violence allegation.

These marriages are like volcanoes that can explode at any moment. The method of explosion is often a call to 911 when an argument ensues. Perhaps a wall in the family home was punched, or there was an assault such as some pushing or shoving, a slap to the face, or a drunkenly uttered threat. Whatever the case, the accused spouse will be criminally charged and facing an even bleaker future of possibly going to jail and getting a criminal record.

Suppression of known or believed past infidelity in the past

Some people can never really get over infidelity or their belief that their partner may have been unfaithful. We have many cases where one spouse is thought to have cheated years or even decades ago and the feelings build up for years before resulting in a domestic incident. Sometimes the accused simply believes the spouse cheated in the past but is not certain. While people are quick to say that the past does not matter, for a lot of people it does emotionally and these feelings that are suppressed deep down can easily sprout up many years later especially in circumstances of alcohol intoxication.

While infidelity may be an incriminating motivating factor in proving an accused's guilt, a defence lawyer can sometimes use it to their client’s advantage when it comes to dealing with the Crown Attorney and sentencing.

Having a broken heart is not a defence to any form of domestic charges, but sometimes can still be used to help the defendant’s case. If the defendant's lawyer can convince the court to consider infidelity to be a mitigating factor, perhaps leading to behaviour that was otherwise out of character, a lenient sentence may be available. A lawyer can also try to capitalize on this by sending their client to counselling to address the psychological impact of being cheated on and anger management.

These factors may also be positively considered by the Crown Attorney depending on which Crown your lawyer is dealing with. Ultimately, it is up to the Crown Attorney as to whether or not it is in the public interest to prosecute an accused offender. A lawyer should always try to deal with the Crown that will be most sympathetic to their client’s case.


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Are you a lawyer? If you are defending a domestic assault/uttering threats/mischief related case and are looking for expert advice regarding possible defences, case strategies, and information release management call us at: 647-228-5969.

Please note: We do not accept legal aid certificate cases. All clients are handled on a private retainer only.

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